OCG

Obsessive Compulsive Gymming

I’ve been struggling a lot recently with my obsessive tendencies and they have spilled over, massively, into my training regime. It is not uncommon for me to feel agitated until I’ve been to the gym and to feel depressed when I’m leaving through the space age pods of Pure Gym Urban Exchange. I swear there was an actual tear fighting to be released the other day upon my exit.

I don’t want to do anything other than train. And train hard. I’ve been lifting a lot recently too. Problem is I’m at a level of anxiety/agitation that I’m worried I’m going to push too far one day and get hurt. I have to keep having a word with myself.

Please note previous obsessions have included:

• Alice in Wonderland (somewhat ongoing)
• Gremlins
• Tins
• Churches
• The pope
• DVDs

Etc etc.

I went for a run today and it was an absolutely disaster. You know that dream you have where you’re running but not going anywhere? I had that, but in real life. Can you imagine? My legs felt like lead weights and weren’t moving. Also my calves were hurting like a bitch. I physically could not go further than 3k. I got home and despite still having done 3k I had to do more. So I hopped in the car to pump some iron. I shouldn’t have. I was fine when I was there but I couldn’t concentrate and my mind was just fixated on getting that fix.

And it’s not just training, it’s food too. I had a panic attack today over a pizza. Yes, a pizza! I wanted one, I’ve been good all week and I didn’t even drink when I went out last night, so I deserved it, but oh my god the guilt. I hadn’t even bought it yet, let alone eaten it! I actually had to text my friend to ask her what to do. She said don’t eat the pizza. I ate it anyway. And I’m not sorry. That’s right, guilt and anxiety, I win this battle. Huzzah. 

🧳 UNPACKED

The Pattern: Obsessive tendencies hit training. Agitated until gym, depressed leaving. Previous obsessions: Alice in Wonderland, Gremlins, tins, churches, the pope, DVDs. This won’t be the last. You’ll see very soon.

The Warning Signs: Couldn’t run past 3K (legs like lead, calves screaming), but still drove to gym after. Panic attack over a pizza before even buying it. Friend said don’t eat it. Ate it anyway. Not sorry.

Worth Knowing: Sometimes eating the pizza and taking a rest day is the healthy choice. Obsessive exercise is still obsession.